An Offering
River #hope #fear #love
Everything we do
is an offering
these days even my spits a gift to the ground
to the plants
and i bury the end of my blunt while i’m thanking the trees
like i’m blessing the dirt like this the only ritual i’ll stick to
And everything we do is an offering
So i’m still trying to watch what words come out my mouth and
Choose which thoughts i listen to more carefully
I’m wondering who suffering stains dark red my hand
When i trade in these dollars for some plastic wrapped bullshit
Enough gas to get me to the beach and back then
Thousands of miles away from this city
And i'm practicing my apologies in the car
All the ones i haven’t offered yet
Because im scared i can’t make them words so
I sit and just watch them
Listen and think and
Try to remember for when i need them
And i’ll offer my love in exchange for your presence
Cuz i’m still struggling to offer myself peace inside any four walls
Over anyones four wheels when ive fucked up for the fourth time
Or something hurts so bad i feel 14
Everytime i forget to respond to something important
Forget what to say forget how to be
When i can’t rest in this form and these features and this voice and
most days around 4:00 cuz most of the days already passed
Before my eyes
Because im still tryna see myself before im 24
Still tryna remember to let myself be seen, before you leave…
Before i remember everythings an offering
And i want to be seen someone kind
Something vulnerable so real it’s already heartbreaking
Shed my shame until my presence is immediately disruptive
Offer my fear to the fire of love
The flame of intimacy
So you can find me …
So the next time i’ve got your heart in my mouth
i’m not choking on the blood dripping down my throat
I’m not scared to be seen
Crimson honey leaking from between my lips
No longer petrified that you’ll tear your heart from my mouth
or tempted to take mine first
But as my teeth sink deeper
Our dance becomes softer
Our laughter become stronger more frequent
Even when your veins are thick or your body is far
I want to offer you my greatest love letters
Even when i inevitably freeze from fear
I want to offer myself forgiveness
I still want to face you
Unafraid of the future
Unafraid of myself
I am aware that everything we do
is an offering
To this moment to all expanding time moments beyond now
To outliving these oppressive patterns
Honoring and embodying these sacred life cycles
To earth, all elements, all being which has created us
Among who we ceaselessly create
So it is joyfully that i rest rest in your cavities
and gratefully i awake to everything else
And in bliss i offer myself to the process today
// And when i blink
And find myself in the belly of night
When i break and bend and bow before reflections
I will seek raven – do not cower do not relapse
Wide eyed creature you can honor the void
You can hold the wholly magic you can offer this self you sit with
To darkness and be transformed in the mystery
Reworked nonphysical
Cosmic hearted creature
You can heal and release your consciousness here
Hear your breathing
Thank you for being here